The Rejected Omega There Were Times I Wished You Were Dead: Read Chapters 1-5

Amber

I just made the biggest mistake of my life: I slept with my best friend’s boyfriend.

The thought slammed into me the second my eyes opened. The air around me was heavy, too warm, and thick with a scent that sent a shiver down my spine. And the ache between my thighs… It wasn't just soreness, it was proof that something that should never have happened, had taken place.

The ceiling above me was unfamiliar, and the bed I was lying in wasn’t mine. Panic set in, tightening its claws around my chest.

I sat up slowly, every movement feeling like it required monumental effort. The sheet slipped from my shoulders, exposing bare skin. My breath fled my lungs as I realized I was naked in bed with—Rayne.

No, no, no. How did this happen?!

Memories of the night before were fragmented and elusive, like trying to hold water in my hands. The last clear moment I could recall was Reed—my best friend, my only friend—dragging me to Brittany’s house, his excitement contagious even though I hadn’t wanted to go.

Brittany had thrown the party to celebrate graduating high school in two months. She’d made a point of inviting everyone, even Omegas like me. I hadn’t believed her intentions were kind—Brittany never did anything out of kindness—but Reed insisted it would be fun.

I’d followed him reluctantly, keeping close to the edges of the crowd once we arrived. The music had been loud, the drinks flowing freely. I didn’t belong there, and I knew it. Yet Reed had smiled at me, and his warmth had made me believe, just for a moment, that it might be okay.

But then there was...nothing. A blank space where my memories should have been.

I turned my eyes to Rayne again, heart beating in overdrive.

His blonde hair was tousled from sleep, his forest-green eyes closed, and his face relaxed in a way I’d never seen before. He looked peaceful, almost innocent. But that wasn’t what made my stomach drop.

It was the marks.

My skin was littered with them—hickeys, bites, and the unmistakable proof of who had made them. My mating gland throbbed, a dull ache that pulsed through my body, and I reached up to touch it instinctively. The mark was there, searing and real.

Rayne had marked me.

I clamped a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming. This can’t be happening.

My best friend’s boyfriend. Reed’s boyfriend. I had slept with him.

No. No, I couldn’t have.

I slid out of the bed, careful not to make a sound. My legs were shaky, my body protesting every movement, but I forced myself to stay upright. My clothes were a crumpled heap on the floor, and I grabbed them quickly, pulling my shirt over my head with trembling hands.

The mark on my neck pulsed again, stronger this time, and I froze. It wasn’t just pain—it was a pull, an overwhelming need to turn back and crawl into Rayne’s arms. My Omega instincts screamed at me to claim my place beside my Alpha, to bury myself in his scent until the world knew I was his.

I clenched my teeth, forcing myself to breathe through the haze. This wasn’t me. This wasn’t what I wanted.

I had to leave.

I shoved my legs into my pants, fumbling with the zipper. The movement was clumsy and loud, and I winced as the sound echoed through the room.

Behind me, a low growl rumbled.

“What the hell?!”

I froze, my back to the bed. My heart raced as I heard the rustle of sheets, then his voice again, sharper this time.

“Amber?”

I turned slowly, dreading what I’d see. Rayne was sitting up now, the blanket pooling around his waist. His chest was bare, and the marks I’d left on him were just as visible as the ones he’d left on me. His eyes were locked on me, wide with confusion, then narrowing as realization dawned.

“What the actual fuck did you do?”

I flinched at his tone, anger flaring in my chest despite the knot of guilt lodged there. “What did I do? I don’t even remember last night!”

Rayne’s lip curled in a snarl. “You don’t remember?” His voice was mocking, venomous. “Convenient. Let me guess—you’re going to play the victim now, right? Pretend you didn’t know exactly what you were doing?”

I stared at him, disbelief and hurt colliding in my chest. “I didn’t—”

“Don’t act innocent, Amber. You knew exactly what you were doing. You used your wretched Omega scent to lure me into bed.”

His words hit like a slap, but he wasn’t finished.

“You knew better than anyone that Reed is my boyfriend. Your best friend. And still, you let this happen.” He sneered, his lips curling as he called me unprintable names, each one cutting deeper than the last.

My wolf whimpered, the sound reverberating through my mind like a physical blow, hurt that our Alpha was reprimanding us. But I refused to back down and let instinct take over.

“You’re a coward, Rayne,” I said, my voice shaking but defiant. “Blaming me when it’s obvious I’m the victim here.”

Rayne’s eyes flashed, and his laugh was sharp and humorless. “Bullshit. You approached me despite knowing you were in heat. Do you even realize what you did? Your intoxicating pheromones were stinking up the place. They triggered my rut—my rut, Amber! I was barely holding it back as it was!”

“I wasn’t in heat!” I snapped, my voice cracking under the weight of his accusations. “Someone drugged me, they must have slipped heat inducing drugs in my drink as some kind of sick prank. I don’t know who, or why, but I felt it coming on. The last thing I remember was trying to leave the party so I wouldn’t be—”

My throat tightened as the words caught. I forced them out anyway. “So I wouldn’t be raped by every Alpha there.”

Rayne’s expression flickered, but only for a moment. His skepticism was still etched in every tense line of his face. “Of course you'd come up with an excuse,” he muttered. “I shouldn’t have bothered helping you.”

I stared at him, my heart pounding in my chest. “What are you talking about?”

Rayne ran a hand through his hair, his frustration palpable. “You were outside Brittany’s house, wandering around like a fucking idiot. You were already in heat, Amber—completely senseless. Barely even able to walk, with slick running down your legs.”

My face burned with humiliation, but he didn’t stop.

“I couldn’t just leave you there,” he continued, his voice rising. “Any Alpha would’ve jumped at the chance to take you. But the moment I got close…” He trailed off, his jaw tightening.

“What?” I demanded.

Rayne met my eyes, and the raw emotion there made my stomach twist. “I felt it. The bond. You’re my destined mate, Amber. And the second I realized that, everything else went to hell. Your pheromones were so strong, I couldn’t think. I couldn’t stop it. My rut hit me like a freight train, and instinct completely took over.”

He ran a hand down his face, his shoulders tense. “I don’t even remember much after that. Just getting you into a room. Stripping off our clothes. The rest is a blur.”

“It wasn’t my fault,” I said, my voice trembling but steady enough to hold my ground. “I never wanted this to happen. Do you think I wanted you to be my mate?” I shook my head, taking a shaky breath. “I would’ve been happy if it were anyone else. Anyone but you.”

My throat tightened as I continued. “You were the last person I’d want to get involved with. You belong to Reed. You have no idea what this does to me, knowing I betrayed Reed like this. He’s the only person who’s ever stood by me, the only one who’s ever cared. And now I’ve ruined everything. But maybe…” My voice faltered. “Maybe this is the Moon Goddess’ plan. Maybe it was supposed to happen.”

Rayne’s expression darkened in an instant, his face twisting in anger. “Shut up,” he snapped, his voice sharp enough to cut. “Just shut the fuck up, Amber. You’ve done enough already.”

His words were a dagger to the chest, sharp and unforgiving. But what hurt most was the look in his eyes—like I was the worst mistake he’d ever made.

“The only thing I regret more than any of this,” he growled, “is marking you.”

Tears welled up in my eyes as the mark on my neck flared with pain, a deep, searing ache that radiated through my body. My wolf whimpered, the sound echoing in my mind, but I refused to let the tears fall. I clenched my fists, grounding myself in the sting of my nails digging into my palms.

Rayne’s jaw tightened as his gaze flicked to my face, his growl deepening at the sight of my pitiful state. “Stop looking at me like that,” he muttered, his voice laced with frustration. He turned abruptly, pacing the room with heavy, deliberate steps.

“What the hell are we supposed to tell Reed?” he said, his voice sharp and bitter. “How do we even begin to explain this?”

Before I could respond, a sharp knock echoed through the room.

“Rayne? Are you in there?”

My blood turned to ice.

Reed.

Amber

“Amber, get in the bathroom. Now.” Rayne hissed, his voice barely above a whisper, his tone sharp and commanding.

“What?” I whispered back, frozen in place as panic surged through me. Reed’s knocking on the door grew louder, more insistent.

Rayne cursed under his breath and grabbed my arm, practically shoving me toward the bathroom. “Just go. Now!”

I stumbled into the small, dimly lit bathroom, clutching the edge of the sink to keep myself upright. The door clicked shut behind me, and I heard the muffled sound of Rayne throwing on his clothes as Reed’s voice carried through the door.

“Rayne? Open up! What the hell are you doing in there?”

“Give me a second,” Rayne called back, his tone strained but even.

My heart raced as I leaned against the wall, every muscle in my body tense. My hands trembled, and I pressed them against my stomach, trying to will myself to calm down.

The door creaked open, and I held my breath as Rayne finally let Reed in.

“Finally,” Reed said, his voice muffled through the bathroom door. “I’ve been knocking forever. What are you even doing in here? And where did you go last night? You practically disappeared on me.”

“I needed a moment,” Rayne said smoothly, his tone calm but firm. “The guys pulled me away for drinks and after the party last night, my head’s been killing me. This was the only quiet spot I could find this morning.”

Reed let out a soft laugh, tinged with concern. “Yeah, Brittany’s parties are chaos. I swear someone spiked the punch. My head’s pounding like crazy.”

I pressed my ear closer to the door, holding my breath as their conversation continued. Relief washed over me when Reed didn’t push Rayne any further.

Thank the goddess Betas can’t smell pheromones, I thought. Reed couldn’t sense my scent clinging to Rayne or the bond between us. If he’d been an Alpha, the entire room would’ve reeked of me and Rayne, and no excuse in the world could’ve saved us.

“You’re looking a little pale,” Rayne said softly, his voice taking on a warm, affectionate tone. “Let me drive you home. You need to rest.”

Reed chuckled, the sound light but laced with teasing. “Rest? Babe, I don’t need rest. You know what I need?”

My breath hitched as I slowly and methodically cracked the bathroom door open just slightly, ensuring not to make a sound. Through the crack, I could see Reed step closer to Rayne, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

He wrapped his arms around Rayne’s neck, pulling their bodies flush together. “I need you,” Reed whispered, his voice dipping low and suggestive. “You always know how to make me feel better. Just give me what I need, and I promise I’ll feel good as new.”

There was no mistaking the meaning in his words, the way his hands trailed up Rayne’s back and his lips hovered near Rayne’s ear. He wanted sex, and he wasn’t being subtle about it.

A low growl rumbled in my chest before I could stop it, and I clamped my hand over my mouth in horror. My wolf snarled possessively, her voice echoing in my mind. Mine. He’s ours. Get him away from him. Now.

I bit down hard on my lip, forcing my wolf back into submission. Not now. Not like this.

Rayne placed his hands gently on Reed’s waist, his touch gentle but firm as he leaned back just slightly. “Reed,” he said softly, his voice steady and full of warmth, “you know I’d do anything for you. But right now, you need to take care of yourself. Let me take you home, make sure you eat something, and I’ll give you the hangover meds myself.”

Reed pouted, leaning into Rayne’s touch. “You’re too good to me, you know that? What did I do to deserve such a sweet boyfriend?”

Rayne didn’t reply, but I saw the flicker of guilt in his eyes before he quickly masked it with a soft smile.

Reed smiled up at Rayne, his brown eyes filled with love and adoration. Then he pulled Rayne down into a kiss, and my stomach twisted painfully.

It wasn’t a simple kiss. It was intense, consuming, and so full of passion it was unbearable to watch. Reed’s hands threaded through Rayne’s blonde hair, tugging him closer as their mouths moved together in perfect sync. The kiss was hungry, demanding, and filled with an intimacy that spoke of years of love and trust.

Rayne’s hands slid down to Reed’s waist, pulling him flush against his body. His fingers gripped Reed’s hips tightly as if he couldn’t bear to let go. Their kiss deepened, and a soft, breathy sound escaped Reed’s lips as Rayne tilted his head, angling for more.

It was raw and unfiltered, a display of a love so deep that it felt like a physical blow. My chest ached as I watched, tears welling in my eyes until they blurred my vision.

Before, I wouldn’t have cared. But now, with the bond tying me to Rayne, the sight of him showing this kind of affection to someone else felt like my heart was being ripped apart piece by piece.

The tears spilled over, hot and silent as they rolled down my cheeks. I pressed a hand to the mark on my neck, its pulsing thrum mocking me.

When they finally pulled away, Reed rested his forehead against Rayne’s and smiled softly. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”

Rayne’s smile was faint, his jaw tight, but he nodded. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

Reed let Rayne guide him out of the room, and the door clicked shut behind them.

I stayed frozen in place for a long moment, my legs refusing to move. Finally, I stepped out of the bathroom, my knees buckling as I crumpled to the floor.

The tears came harder now, sobs shaking my chest as I pressed my hands to my face. My life had never been easy, but I had never expected it to get this complicated.

Amber

The shelter’s bathroom door banged shut behind me, echoing off cracked tiles. My hands fumbled at the tap until icy water gushed out, splattering across the basin, splashing up onto my chest. I barely felt the cold. My only thought was to scrub. To scrape away the scent that clung to me like chains.

Rayne.

The mate bond hummed at the base of my neck, alive and electric, the mark he’d left still tingling under my skin. I grabbed the rough bar of soap, the one that always smelled faintly of bleach, and lathered it hard enough to burn. My arms moved furiously—scrubbing, rinsing, scrubbing again. Red streaks rose across my pale skin, but no matter how raw I rubbed, his scent lingered.

Irma, my wolf, was restless beneath the surface. “Mate,” she purred, her voice dark velvet in the back of my mind. “Ours. You can’t wash him away.”

“Shut up,” I hissed. My voice cracked in the tiny stall.

I pressed my forehead to the tile, eyes shut tight. For a moment, the damp air wasn’t from this bathroom. It was years ago, the leaky roof of the Pack shelter dripping onto the thin blanket I curled beneath. The same desperation to scrub away a world that marked me wrong. Omegas weren’t allowed dignity; I’d learned that before I could even shift.

My father’s voice rose from memory, sharper than the sting of soap in my eyes. “You’re no daughter of mine.” His hand had shoved a garbage bag at me, half-filled with my clothes. I’d been fourteen, still shaking from the shock of my first shift. Still stupid enough to think Irma would save me. That maybe, just maybe, I’d turn into something strong enough to make him proud.

Instead, Irma had appeared, small but fierce, declaring me what I already was: an Omega. The bottom of the Pack. The disappointment carved into my father’s face that day had been the last thing he ever gave me. He'd hated me from birth for taking my mother's life, and so had my brothers but presenting as an Omega was the final straw.

I bit down hard, forcing myself back to the present. I wasn’t that kid anymore. I wasn’t weak, no matter what they thought.

The water turned lukewarm, then cold again. I let it run over me until I couldn’t tell whether the trembling in my body came from the chill or the truth pressing at my throat.

When I stepped out, my skin was raw, my hair dripping. I dug through the drawer until I found a scent patch. My fingers shook as I slapped it over the mark. It dulled the pull, but not enough. The bond still thrummed under my skin, a cruel reminder I couldn’t ignore.

I stuffed my clothes from the night before into a bucket, filled it with water, and scrubbed until suds frothed and my arms ached. The scent of Rayne and me still lingered faintly in the fabric, stubborn and thick. It made my stomach knot but it made Irma purr.

Scrubbing things wasn't new to me. Be it clothes, dishes or even floors. When I first came to the shelter, they had worked me to the bone. Even amongst the other Omegas, I was an outcast due to my appearance. They'd laugh at me, tugging at my red hair and whispering things like freckle-face, ugly. They stole the small scraps I managed to get and dumped my water when no one was looking. I had swallowed the tears, done all my work, and shown up at school the next day like nothing touched me.

They thought I was fragile. They never saw the strength underneath.

I wrung out the last shirt, muscles burning, and hauled the bucket outside. The air was bright, the sun climbing fast, warming the cracked pavement under my feet. I wanted silence. Just a few minutes to hang my clothes in peace.

“Amber!”

I froze.

Reed.

He was waiting in the yard, waving like always, grin wide and impossibly bright. His energy filled every space he entered, the opposite of the heavy dread curling in my chest.

“There you are!” He called, striding toward me. “I’ve been looking everywhere!”

My pulse stuttered. The scent patch hid the mate mark, but it couldn’t cover everything. Rayne’s hickeys still dotted my skin, purple-red stamps of possession trailing down my collarbone.

Reed’s eyes landed on them instantly. His grin morphed into a wicked smirk.

“Well, well, well,” he drawled, stepping close. His finger brushed one bruise, feather-light. “Amber Queen, you sly little minx. I was worried sick when you vanished last night, and turns out you were out having the time of your life!”

I jerked back, heat flooding my cheeks. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Reed just laughed, his voice sharp and bright. “Don’t even think about hiding these. Goddess, girl, you got mauled. Who was it, huh? Come on, spill! You never date, you never even flirt, and now you show up looking like you spent the night with a whole pack of Alphas. You have to tell me something.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” I snapped, hanging a shirt with more force than necessary.

For a beat, Reed blinked, caught off guard. Then his grin returned, undeterred. “Fine. Keep your secrets. I’m just glad you finally got laid. Honestly, I was starting to think you’d die a virgin.”

“Reed—”

“No, no, don’t ruin this for me.” He leaned against the line, smirking. “You’ve been so anti-dating, so against finding your mate, and now look at you. You’re glowing. I’m proud of you, Amber.”

His words sliced through me, leaving guilt in their wake. If only he knew. If only he saw the truth lurking beneath my scent patch.

I forced a smile, brittle at the edges. “What about you, huh? When are you planning to come out? You can’t keep hiding forever.”

The smirk faltered. He raked a hand through his brown hair, sighing. “I don’t know. You know how it is here. People don’t accept different. My dad would disown me in a heartbeat. You’ve seen him.”

I crossed my arms. “Yeah, but you can’t live in the closet forever. Someone’s going to notice. Especially with how close you and Rayne are.”

His ears turned pink. “He doesn’t—”

“Oh, really?” I arched a brow. “Flowers, trinkets, that custom bracelet with the rune for ‘forever’ on it?”

Reed flushed deeper, lips pressing tight before he sighed. “Okay, fine. Maybe he spoils me a little. But people think we’re just close friends.”

“For now,” I said softly, clipping another shirt to the line. “But secrets have a way of surfacing. Especially when you care about someone as much as you care about him.”

His eyes softened, vulnerability slipping through his usual sass. “I love him, Amber. I love him so much it scares me. But if anyone finds out, we’re screwed. Rayne’s supposed to be the next Alpha. An Alpha doesn’t bond with a Beta. It won’t matter how we feel. I can’t give him children. His father would tear us apart.”

Irma growled, sharp and possessive. “He’s ours. Rayne belongs to us. Fight for him.”

I clenched my fists, forcing her back. My best friend stood in front of me, baring the rawest part of himself, and all my wolf wanted was to rip it away.

Reed had been the only person who ever made me feel seen. When everyone else looked at me and saw weakness, he saw Amber freaking Queen, his partner-in-crime, the girl worth dragging to parties and daring to laugh again. He’d stood beside me when bullies shoved me into lockers, his quick wit cutting sharper than fists.

And now… now I was betraying him in the worst way.

The truth burned on my tongue: Rayne is my mate.

But I saw Reed’s face. Saw the hope, the fear, the fragile thread of love he was clinging to. And I remembered standing outside my father’s door, garbage bag in my arms, praying someone would choose me.

I couldn’t do it. Not yet.

Reed tried for a grin, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “We’ll figure it out,” he murmured, almost like he was talking to himself. “We have to.”

The last shirt dripped on the line, sunlight catching in the droplets. I swallowed down the truth and forced my hands to still. My heart ached, torn between bond and loyalty, wolf and friend.

No one had saved me when I was thrown away. I’d saved myself. And now, if I had to, I’d save Reed too—even if it meant shattering what little I had left.

Amber

It had been two weeks since that night—since Rayne had marked me, since our worlds had collided in the most painful and disastrous way imaginable.

Two weeks since I had seen or heard from him.

I told myself, at first, that he needed time. Anyone would. How could Rayne possibly come to terms with a mate bond, the betrayal it represented to Reed, and the weight of everything else all at once? But as the days stretched on in agonizing silence, the emptiness of his absence became unbearable.

The bond wouldn’t let me forget him.

It wasn’t just a mark. A mate bond was far more than a symbol of ownership or a claim. It was a tether—an indestructible, unyielding tie that linked our souls. Through it, I should have been able to sense his emotions, feel his heartbeat echoing alongside mine, and even hear his voice in my mind if either of us willed it. The bond should have let us soothe each other, even from afar, a connection so deep and intimate it defied explanation.

But Rayne had slammed the door on his side of the bond.

I could still feel the faint thrum of his existence, an ever-present vibration at the base of my neck. It reassured me that he was alive, that he was well—but that was all I got. No emotions, no connection, no whispers in the quiet of my mind.

I’d heard of Alphas and Omegas closing their bonds before. It wasn’t common, but it wasn’t unheard of either. I had even asked one of the older Omegas at the shelter about it once, back when I was still curious and naive about mating. She’d said that closing the bond was a rejection in everything but name. A way of saying, I don’t want you.

The thought alone felt like a knife twisting in my chest.

Still, I could at least be grateful for one thing: Rayne hadn’t cheated.

The bond made fidelity a cruel, unforgiving system. If he slept with someone else, the pain I would experience would be unimaginable. The bond would punish me for his infidelity, setting my body ablaze with searing fire. I had seen it happen once at the shelter—a young Omega writhing and screaming as her Alpha mate fooled around with someone else. The agony had lasted as long as the betrayal itself, leaving her trembling and broken for days after.

The memory still haunted me.

For Alphas, it was different. They could feel the same pain if their Omega cheated, but it was almost impossible for that to happen. Omegas were naturally submissive, biologically programmed to be docile and loyal. Once marked, they couldn’t feel pleasure from anyone but their bonded Alpha.

But Alphas? They were free to do whatever they wanted. Even after bonding, they could fool around with anyone without consequence. It was a brutal imbalance, and one I hated with every fiber of my being.

It was just another reason being an Omega felt like a curse.

I sighed, my fingers brushing against the scent patch I’d placed over the mark. The ache in my chest wouldn’t go away, no matter how hard I tried to push it down. I knew I needed to see Rayne.

We had so much to talk about.

I hated that Rayne had this power over me, that even in his absence, the bond kept me tethered to him. I hated how my body craved him, how my instincts screamed for his touch.

And yet, I couldn’t deny the truth.

Lately, my instincts had been relentless, clawing at me day and night. I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned, drenched in sweat, my body trembling with a heat I couldn’t shake. My wolf, Irma, prowled in the back of my mind, restless and insistent.

We need him, she would whisper. Our Alpha. His touch. His knot. His scent. Let us have him.

It was unbearable. My skin felt too tight, my thoughts clouded with longing. I wanted him to scent me, to calm the storm raging inside me. I wanted to drown in his pheromones, to lose myself in his presence until the ache disappeared.

But how could I face him when I didn’t even know where we stood?

My thoughts were interrupted when something hit the back of my head. A crumpled piece of paper rolled across my desk.

I didn’t bother turning around. I didn’t need to. It was one of my usual bullies, probably grinning to themselves at their clever little game.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. Six weeks, I reminded myself. Just six weeks until graduation. I could endure a little longer. Then I could leave this Pack, leave everything behind.

The bell for break rang, and I stood up, trying to shake off the heaviness in my chest. My stomach churned with unease, but I ignored it, grabbing my bag and heading toward the cafeteria. It was just another day, another stretch of hours to endure until I could finally collapse in my silly excuse for a bed.

But the moment the smell of food hit my nostrils, the nausea roared to life. The greasy, cloying aroma of cafeteria fries and overly seasoned pasta was overwhelming, clinging to the air like an invisible fog. My stomach turned violently.

I barely made it to the bathroom in time.

Hunched over the toilet, I retched, my body convulsing as I emptied what little was in my stomach. The acid burned my throat, tears stinging my eyes as the heaving finally subsided. My legs trembled as I leaned back, the tiled wall cool against my sweaty skin.

What is wrong with me?

Dragging myself to the sink, I turned on the tap and splashed cold water onto my face, rinsing my mouth to wash away the bitter taste. My hands gripped the edge of the sink, my knuckles white as I stared at my pale reflection in the cracked mirror.

My heart was still racing, my breath coming in shallow gasps. I closed my eyes, trying to center myself, but the spinning in my head refused to stop.

And then it hit me.

My period.

I opened my eyes, panic flickering across my face. My period was supposed to come three days ago.

Dread crept in slowly, coiling in my stomach like a viper. I clenched the edge of the sink tighter, my mind racing to piece together the details, the mistakes.

Rayne hadn’t used protection.

I hadn’t been on birth control—I couldn’t even afford my suppressants half the time, let alone anything else.

“How did I not think of this?” I whispered, my voice barely audible, trembling as the weight of realization settled over me.

It was basic biology. Every Omega knew it: if an Alpha in rut mated with an Omega in heat, the chances of pregnancy weren’t just high—they were practically guaranteed.

And yet, I’d been so consumed by everything else—by the betrayal, by the bond, by the constant guilt over Reed—that I hadn’t even considered the possibility.

In the corner of my mind, Irma stirred.

We’re pregnant, she said, her voice soft and triumphant. Our mate’s pup is inside us.

“Shut up,” I muttered, pressing my palms against my temples. “This isn’t something to celebrate.”

Why not? she growled, her tone laced with irritation. This is a gift, Amber. It’s his. It’s ours.

I ignored her, forcing her voice into the background. My hands shook as I grabbed a paper towel, wiping my face and trying to steady myself.

It’s probably nothing, I told myself. Just a random bout of nausea. Stress, maybe. That’s all.

But the doubt wouldn’t leave. It lingered, heavy and suffocating, weighing down every thought, every breath.

I somehow managed to get through the rest of my classes, though it felt like I was moving in a fog. The nausea faded, but the dread stayed, gnawing at me like a parasite.

When the final bell rang, I didn’t wait for Reed like I usually did. I bolted out of the building, keeping my head down and my pace brisk as I made my way to the drugstore.

The tiny shop felt oppressive, the fluorescent lights too bright, the rows of shelves too narrow. My hands were clammy as I picked up a box of pregnancy tests, shoving it into my bag as quickly as I could.

The cashier gave me a curious glance, but I avoided eye contact, mumbling something about forgetting my wallet before rushing out the door.

The walk back to the shelter felt like an eternity. Every step was filled with a growing sense of dread, the possibility clawing at my mind and refusing to let go. By the time I got to my room, my nerves were frayed to the breaking point.

I locked the door behind me, ripped open the box, and stared at the instructions with trembling hands. Each second felt like an hour as I followed the steps, my heart pounding in my chest.

When it was finally time, I stared at the result.

Two pink lines.

Pregnant.

The word slammed into me like a freight train. My knees buckled, and I sank to the floor, the test slipping from my fingers. My hand instinctively went to my stomach, trembling as I tried to process what this meant.

Rayne’s pup.

My mate’s pup.

Irma practically purred in the back of my mind, her joy radiating through me. This is a blessing, she said. This is what we’re meant to be—a family.

But I didn’t feel blessed. I felt like my entire world had just come crashing down.

Tears burned in my eyes, and I pressed my forehead to my knees, curling into myself as the weight of it all threatened to suffocate me. How was I supposed to face Rayne now? How was I supposed to keep this a secret from Reed?

How was I supposed to survive this?

Rayne

Reed’s room was dark, lit only by the faint glow of his bedside lamp. The bed smelled like him—warm, familiar, safe. His head rested on my chest, his long, luscious hair spilling over my bare skin like silk. One of his arms was draped over me, holding me close as if I might disappear if he let go.

“You know, Amber’s been acting so weird lately,” Reed murmured suddenly, his voice cutting through the silence.

I hummed absently, running my fingers through his hair. The motion was automatic, something I’d done a hundred times, but my mind was far away.

“She didn’t even wait for me after school today,” he continued, his tone laced with curiosity. “She’s been distant, like she’s trying to avoid me or something. Don’t you think that’s strange?”

Another hum. My hand moved through his hair again, but I wasn’t really listening. My thoughts were consumed by something else—someone else.

Amber.

It had been two weeks since that night. Two weeks since I’d marked her. Since I’d lost control and ruined everything. For two weeks, I’d been trying to forget. Trying and failing.

I’d blocked the bond on my end the morning after it happened, slamming the tether shut so hard it was like I was trying to sever it completely. I didn’t want to feel her. I didn’t want to hear her voice in my head or sense her emotions leaking through. I thought that if I closed her out, I could move on.

But the bond didn’t work that way. Even with it blocked, I still felt her. A faint hum in the back of my mind, a constant reminder that she existed, that she was there, tethered to me in a way I couldn’t escape.

No amount of mental walls could erase the reality of it—I had marked her. We were bonded now, and nothing could undo that. No pretending could change the fact that my body craved her, no matter how much I hated it.

I wanted to hate her. Hell, I needed to hate her.

I wanted to hate her fiery red hair, the way it made her stand out like a flame in the dark. I wanted to despise her freckles, scattered across her pale skin like stars. I wanted to hate those cerulean eyes that always looked too damn vulnerable, too damn innocent.

And that scent—honeysuckle. Sweet, overpowering, intoxicating. It clung to my skin, my clothes, my memory, no matter how hard I scrubbed.

But the worst part was the sound of her moans.

Dear goddess…

I shifted on the bed as the memory of that night clawed its way to the surface again, uninvited. Amber’s moans were the first thing I always remembered—soft, desperate, utterly intoxicating. I could see her lips parted and trembling, the way they’d looked when she was lost beneath me. Her body writhing, her skin flushed, her back arching as she gasped and clung to me like I was the only thing keeping her grounded. Her arms had wrapped around me so tightly, as if I were her salvation.

And then the way she whimpered when I knotted her and sunk my fangs into her mating gland. Goddess, that sound.

I could still feel it—the way she clenched around me, her body greedy and desperate, taking in every drop of my seed like it was what she’d been made for. Like her whole existence was to submit to me and carry my pups.

“Fucking gods,” I muttered under my breath, dragging a hand over my face.

The image was so vivid my body always responded immediately. Heat would coil low in my stomach, spreading through me like fire, and no matter how hard I tried to will it away, my traitorous cock would harden in my pants, straining painfully against the fabric.

Like right now. I’d lost count how many times I’d gotten hard to the mere thought of her this past week. My pants were uncomfortably tight.

‘Pathetic,’ Eden, my wolf, sneered. ‘Look at you. You can’t even sit here without thinking about her. She’s ours, Rayne. Stop trying to deny it.’

The words hit harder than I wanted to admit. I hated him for saying it, hated the bond for making it true.

“Fuck,” I whispered.

Reed stirred against me, his head lifting from my chest. “Rayne? What’s wrong?” He asked softly, his voice laced with concern.

I froze, but his gaze drifted lower, and the second his eyes landed on the tent in my pants, his expression shifted. A grin spread across his face, wide and teasing, and he tilted his head. “Well, well,” he said, amusement dripping from his tone. “I was starting to think you didn’t find me attractive anymore.”

“Reed, don’t—”

“For the past two weeks, you’ve been distant,” he continued, cutting me off with a laugh. “You haven’t been in the mood, but now…” He gestured toward the unmistakable bulge in my pants, his grin widening. “Looks like you’re finally back to normal, babe.”

I shifted under his gaze, trying to will the heat to fade. But my wolf growled low in my mind, a warning.

‘This isn’t right,’ Eden snarled. ‘She’s our mate, not him. Stop this. Now.’

Reed moved quickly, shifting to straddle my lap, his hands already reaching for my belt. “I’ve missed this,” he murmured, his voice soft and sultry. “Can’t wait for you to pound me into the bed.”

Eden’s growl turned into a roar, his voice thundering in my mind. ‘Stop him, Rayne. You know what will happen if you go through with this. She’ll feel it. She’ll suffer because of you.’

I didn’t need him to remind me. I already knew. Amber would be the one to pay the price.

“She’s our mate,” Eden growled. “And you’ve shut her out for two weeks. You haven’t spoken to her, haven’t checked on her. She’s hurting because of you, and this is how you repay her?”

Guilt twisted in my chest, sharp and suffocating. Amber hadn’t asked for this bond. She hadn’t asked to be marked. I had done that to her.

Reed undid my belt, his fingers moving to unzip my pants. I grabbed his wrists, stopping him.

“Reed, wait,” I said, my voice strained.

He blinked at me, confusion flickering in his brown eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Eden’s voice was harsh, relentless, filled with disgust. ‘You’re bonded, Rayne. Amber is our mate. How can you let someone else touch you? You should be ashamed.’

“I…” I swallowed hard, my grip tightening slightly on Reed’s wrists. My wolf’s words struck again, the guilt twisting in my chest like a knife.

“I… I can’t,” I muttered, loosening my grip but keeping his hands away.

“Rayne?” Reed’s voice was softer now, laced with concern. “Are you okay?”

I opened my eyes, meeting his gaze. “I just… I can’t,” I said finally, pulling his hands away from me.

Reed frowned, his expression falling. “Why not? You’re hard,” he said, his tone almost accusing. “You obviously want this.”

“It’s not that,” I returned quickly. “I’m just… tired.”

He looked at me for a long moment, as if trying to gauge whether or not I was telling the truth. “Tired?” he repeated, disappointment creeping in.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, avoiding his gaze.

Reed sighed, leaning back slightly. The disappointment in his eyes was almost unbearable. “Fine,” he said softly, though his tone was reluctant. “But if you really don't want us to fuck…” He glanced down, a sly smile tugging at his lips. “Then at least let me suck you off. I can't leave you with that massive boner.”

I didn’t stop him when he slid down, fingers curling under the waistband of my pants, pulling them and my boxers down. The air hit me, cool against heated skin. My cock sprang free, hard and angry. Reed’s eyes darkened, lips parting slightly.

He wrapped a warm hand around me, stroking once, twice. I hissed through my teeth. His mouth replaced his hand, enveloping me in heat, tongue swirling around the head before sliding down the shaft, slow and deliberate.

I gripped the sheets, knuckles white, eyes closing as the warmth of his mouth surrounded me.

This was Reed. My Reed. The person I loved most in the world.

I should have been content. But my mind wouldn’t stop spinning. The bond hummed faintly, a cruel reminder that Amber still existed, still lingered in the corner of my mind like a shadow I couldn’t escape.

I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek, trying not to groan Amber’s name as Reed took me deeper. His throat worked around me, swallowing, his hand moving at the base in slow, firm strokes.

I loved Reed. I loved him.

Didn’t I?

Amber’s moans echoed in my head, unbidden. Her scent wrapped around my memory, sweet and suffocating. I clenched my jaw, hating myself as heat coiled tighter in my gut. Reed’s mouth was on me, but in my mind it was her.

I gripped his hair, my hips jerking once as he took me all the way down, nose pressing to my base. My breath caught.

“Fuck,” I whispered. I didn’t know if it was to him or her.

Reed hummed around me, the vibration making my vision blur. His throat flexed, swallowing me again and again, and my body tightened. I tried to think of anything else—the lamp, the ceiling, the cold air—but Amber’s name sat on my tongue, burning.

I hated myself for it. I hated her for it.

“I love you,” I heard myself say, but even to my own ears it sounded like a plea.

Reed didn’t stop. His hand stroked as his mouth worked, wet and messy now, drool sliding down my length. He moaned softly around me like he liked the taste.

My hips rolled despite myself, chasing it, heat climbing until it was unbearable.

Amber.

The bond thrummed once, faint but sharp, as if she’d felt it.

I bit my lip hard enough to taste blood, choking on her name as I spilled into Reed’s mouth. He swallowed around me, taking it, his tongue lapping at the head even as I twitched, overstimulated.

For a moment, everything felt right again.

Then the haze of pleasure faded. The bond hummed faintly, a cruel reminder.

No. I wouldn’t let her ruin this.

I’d made my decision. I've loved Reed for so long and my feelings weren’t going to change—not now, not ever.

I would find a way to break the mate bond with Amber, no matter what it took. Even if it left her ruined for the rest of her life.